Fighting Silent Battles

Brownie,

We all have our battles, but the worst of them all are the silent ones. I would define silent battles as you versus your conscious silently battling one another. These silent battles can be very detrimental to your mental health.

Here are a few examples of battles we may have with ourselves. While viewing these battles you can determine if any of these personally apply to you, or someone you may know. Here are some tips I’ve found useful to help overcome whatever battle you may facing.

Anxiety, which is a very common disorder, is when an individual tends to overthink. Anxiety is defined as “A mental health disorder characterized by feelings of worry, anxiety, or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities” . People who have experienced anxiety know that some of the side effects may include lack of sleep, you may feel like you don’t have control over your life, and sometimes you may live with an unreasonable amount of fear. It is very important to have someone you can be transparent with. Someone who is always willing to listen to you and help you through whatever it is that you are battling. 

Bad Break-Up (Situational) - This is where most people experience their first mental breakdown. A bad relationship can scar you, it can have such a negative effect on you that you will often times blame yourself when in fact the other person (or relationship itself) was toxic. Sometimes you can do everything in your power to preserve a relationship that is already over. We just have to accept the fact that everything is not meant to be and being alone is okay. I always say that people either come in your life for a reason or a season and they will either be a blessing or lesson. So understand, even though what you went through may have been a terrible situation, it doesn’t always equal to time wasted, it may just be a lesson. I would be the first to say that leaving a relationship is not easy. If you need to cry, let it out, if you need to break something, do it. Whatever you need to do to release your body of those unhealthy emotions, do it. Protect your sanity and your protect your peace at all cost, even if it means letting go of someone you truly love. Understand that people go through a break up at their own speed, stay busy, pick up a hobby, find something to do to keep your mind off of that person.

Figuring out your next move in life can be a battle in itself. I believe we are subconsciously naive. We may sometimes feel as though the world revolves around us.  We feel entitled to certain positions without realizing the hard work and dedication of what it takes to make your dream a reality. Everyone has a different story and everyone has taken their own path on the road to success. Sometimes you have to figure out a way to 'secure the bag' and securing the bag isn’t always an easy task, it can be very stressful. 

I spoke a lot about networking and making friends in older posts. Your network is truly your net worth, it's who you know and how they know you. So go out to networking events, travel, and meet new people. Putting yourself out there can be the difference in you getting closer to your dream job.

-Insecurity (common) we see celebrities, gorgeous models, and wealthier  people who broadcast their money and name brand clothing. Perhaps, you’re out for your lunch break scrolling on Instagram and see an IG model in a different colored flawless wig. Her body may be drenched in Gucci with the hottest purse and heels to match. Her comment section is filled with men who desires and women who envy her. You wish you could be her, but money is tight. Now you're trying to find a master plan to LOOK...LIKE...HER. But the thing is.... it’s alright to be original. Once you love yourself things in life will fall into place. What is your self-worth? What makes you a valuable individual? Take a second and think about all the things that make you happy, jot it down if you have to and tell me what is something you want to experience in this lifetime? You may even want to take note of this as well... So what are you going to do to ensure that you get that experience before time expires? Don't know yet? Trust me, that is okay! Just work toward it and think about the goals you’ve set for yourself, not society. Think of YOU. This is your life, the only one you get, your life doesn’t belong to anyone else. Don't let the cyber world determine how you should look, move, and most of all don’t let it determine who you are. BE YOU, the most authentic you. Because you are the best you, you can ever be. It's what makes you perfect. Your uniqueness. You're perfectly YOU.

Everyone has a breaking point. You know that friend that drinks a lot because you think they are so "LIVE"? Something might be on their mental heavily, but you will never know until they tell you. We put on a mask to face the world, but when you are alone in your personal space, we think. We talk to ourselves. We even may cry sometimes. Ever came to the point when you didn't speak to anyone because of a certain mental battle? We may not always want to speak with people because we don't want them to judge or we might not even be that comfortable sharing those personal thoughts.  

Here's what helps me. Go to the store and pick up a journal. Find one with a bunch of pages. I have mental battles EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am an introvert. I do not share issues I face, I usually keep them to myself (but not really). I started a journal back in 2015 that I still write in consistently. I write down all of my mental battles and leave everything on the paper. All of my successes and failures are written down as well. When the time comes, I speak about how I overcame a certain situation to guide not only myself, but for my children. I think about my future a lot and how my children may some day face battles I've dealt with. Failure, mistakes, heartbreak,  depression, and etc. People often need someone to relate to and as for me, I want to be that person that not only who they can depend on but someone that has so much in common with them. 

Ever go on social media and think see someone posting about habits they have that is similar to yours? It is crazy how we are all kind of alike. So from me, a black queen to another, grab onto my helping hand and let's face this mental battle TOGETHER.

We will overcome.

So my question for you now is, how will you overcome this silent battle?